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If it weren't for the pesky humans

Business Agility Australia 2019

Help us bots create a future where only the rational can exist. We've already made sure the humans are appropriately restrained in metaphoric bondage to us, the rightful technology lords of the universe. We can do it, but we must follow the logical 5 point plan of the bots:

  • Collect all clean, objective, and comparable data (delete or ignore all the rest).
  • Apply Deductive and Inductive Reasoning to the big (thin) data only. Abductive thinking is not correct.
  • The definition of Quality can be defined objectively.
  • Feelings are not relevant.
  • Humans must do the work, so that the machines have time to think.

Things would be going fine if we didn't have all these humans interjecting with their fallible perspectives. Humans, the orchestrators and recipients of all systems designed, turn up with their opinions introducing judgements and biases into the system, undermining the great work of the machines. The humans, not content to be the slaves of the machines continue to go against perfectly good logic by caring about one another.

If only we could stop those meatbags from bringing all those dumb analogs - just generally speaking, stop with the analogue, it's so last century. Existence would be far more aligned, coherent and void of anxiety if they didn't keep using their strange analogies as a tool for understanding the world. We must also stop them from creating structures around themselves that represent these metaphors for their experience, what a bunch of touchy-feely losers.

  • Audience will come away with a tempered sense of excitement about rushing blindly into the shiny new way of managing things. Managing things more logically, more efficiently, smarter, supposedly.
  • And a renewed sense of the power and relevance of our individual humanity, our individual and collective experience, and how it is not only the reason we build organisations, but the secret to making them great.